April 9th, 2020

The news today is better. By better I mean the rate of deaths is going down in NYC. There are many places in the country that have worsening rates of infection and it is getting so hard to stay home… 6.6 million Americans have filed for unemployment. That’s almost 10%. At least Emily and I are getting paid. Almost 15,000 dead in the United States. The gas station around the corner is closed. No one is driving anywhere. They are saying the unemployment rate may go as high as 14%. The president is an imbecile. He is already talking about loosening restrictions even as people are dying. I feel very good health wise and I’m making sure my blood sugars are good but I am in the high risk pool and have no choice but to stay home.

I went for a walk his morning in the rain. Now I am damp and soaked. Best intentions…

I feel this pressure to make sure that I am keeping busy but I really don’t want to do anything. I keep trying to come up with projects to keep me busy but nothing appeals to me. I’m still bored.

I cant even think of anything to do with my students anymore. There is no more normal. There will be a new normal but what that will look like remains to be seen. Can’t imagine what that will look like. They are not doing enough testing to make it safe for people to return to work.

I dared never imagine that I could be out of work for 6 months. There was a time I only wanted to be home. Now I am restless and nothing seems to calm my restlessness. People on TV news are wearing masks and reporting from home. Very strange times.

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