How did you decide to get married?

Back in 1988, when I first met Mama, gay and lesbian people could not get legally married. They had this new thing called domestic partnerships, which basically said if you lived together as a couple for more than, say, 6 months, there were some businesses that would let you go on your domestic partner’s insurance. You could submit a joint state income tax filing and that was about it.

I had a close friend and cousin that were both getting married. The next summer, I became obsessed with the idea that it was so unfair that I couldn’t get married too.

Mama had bought a book called ceremonies of the heart. Each chapter of the book had a different kind of ceremony for gays and lesbians to have a commitment ceremony. Back then, even these ceremonies were fairly rare.

One day I was driving home from Long Island and I heard a song in the car. After listening to it I decided I deserved to get married and approached mama about my idea.

To my surprise, she wasn’t that enthusiastic. I was surprised since she had bought the book.

She didn’t take long to agree to marriage.

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